“If everyone was jumping off the bridge would you do it too,” my dad used to say.
In the past, my New Year’s resolutions revolved around how I’d achieve a tiny sculpted ass thru exercise and various altercations to my diet. In the end, the changes I wanted weren’t practical and resulted in me feeling like a failure.
I set “jumping off a bridge goals,” which resulted in my unhappiness.
Still, year after year, people take the same leap, and focus their goals on the shape of their bodies.
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While a healthy body is important, I’d like to encourage everyone to remove the focus from the external and take a positive internal inventory instead.
Think about it. The shapes and sizes of our bodies are constantly in flux depending on the time of month, year, age, metabolism and stage of life. My body doesn’t function the same way it did when I was sixteen years old because it’s not a sixteen-year-old body anymore.
Today while holding her baby, a friend told me that she still keeps her size 3 shorts in the hopes she will fit into them again. She also readily admits that the last time she fit them was senior year of high school when she was dancing for 5 hours a day.
Now, as an adult with a child, the only way that might be her reality is if dancing was her profession, which it is not. Yet she still holds onto the shorts.
It is our holding on that causes us unhappiness. We insist on trying to get back to a point in time when we looked our best. We hold that point as our trophy.
The reality is that all things are temporary. Things change, grow, and transform. They are always shifting and moving. Life is linked together with the transitions that we take.
Years ago when I was unhealthy and uber thin, I spent my days isolated with my mind in a state of torture and depression over food and exercise. Yet for years I held that “skinny” point in my head as my trophy to get back to.
There is no way I’d want to go back to that point now. Time has shown how many years of wasted energy and potential I devoted to worshipping a body that was fleeting. Bodies are temporary. They should be respected, loved, and kept functioning happily, but they are not to be worshipped.
Ask yourself a few questions:
- Is your New Year’s goal to lose weight or cut out certain foods?
- Do you still hold onto clothes from when you were young that you hope to fit into?
- Do you weigh yourself daily and allow it to set the mood of your day?
- Do you judge yourself when you see your body in the mirror?
- Do you know what you ate yesterday and does it determine what you eat today?
There are many factors that culminate to form a full-blown eating disorder. There are many women and men who suffer from an eating disorder. But just because you don’t have a full-blown eating disorder it doesn’t mean you’re out of the woods.
Every woman I’ve ever met, has a preoccupation with their weight and food. Do you know any woman who wouldn’t want to be at least a tad thinner? If so, I wanna meet them.
Society bombards us with images telling us that thin is beautiful and desired.
I know many beautiful fit women who have thought at least once that they would be more successful, that they would have gotten the part, or the job, or the guy etc. If only they were just a little bit thinner.
This must stop. We must stop. We cannot un-love our bodies into wholeness. Things are LOVED into wholeness.
This year let’s not jump off the same bridge as everyone else. Let’s dig beneath the surface of our skins and set meaningful goals for ourselves.
Set New Year’s resolutions that highlight our internal awesomeness.
Focus on the things that will last.
Check out my latest article for Adios Barbie: Why I’m Not Furious about Mannequins with Visible Ribs. Read it Here