Z’s Wonderland


Do We Deserve Love? By Z Zoccolante   In some strange little Saturday night vortex of my college life, I remember chillin’ alone in my dorm room, playing Bjork on repeat, and getting utterly lost in the lyrics:   You’ll be given love You’ll be taken care of You’ll be given love You have to trust it (Björk – All is Full of Love (Official Music Video)   It felt like I was locked in meditative trance,...

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The Few Men the Heart Loves By Z Zoccolante   When I was little I used to think that people holding hands were in love and that they had everything in life figured out. I used to think there were happy endings and I believed in fairytales. Then I grew up, some shit happened, and I realized that things are much more intricate than they seem.   Maybe there are just factual endings and we are the ones that create our happily...

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What if I Don’t Trust Myself? By Z Zoccolante   The night before I checked into the eating disorder treatment hospital, I wrote in my journal,   I don’t think I can get better . . . but I’m hoping I can prove myself wrong.   I’m a smart girl, but up until that point I’d tried for years to stop binging and purging, to stop restricting what I ate, to stop hating my body in the mirror. But daily I failed.   After...

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What if You Fell Into a Hole? By Z Zoccolante   What if you fell into a hole and you couldn’t get out? Would you eat yourself? What part would you start with first?   This weekend I was reminded of the bright, fuzzy poem above that my brother wrote in high school.   This weekend I was at an EMDR seminar (eye movement desensitization reprocessing). In short, EMDR is a fantastic therapy tool to help the brain reprocess...

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Love is All This By Z Zoccolante *Yay! Episode 3 of Throwing Up Rainbows is out! Or listen on iTunes and please write us a review so people can find us. Thanks.   All the many conversations I’ve had about love, the ones over coffee with a rainbow in the backdrop. The ones curled on the couch late at night. The ones that have been going on since the beginning of the world.   Love is a web, tendrils in all directions. Love is...

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The Ashes of Forgiveness By Z Zoccolante *New Podcast Episode: Check out episode 2 of the Throwing Up Rainbows podcast available now on our website, iTunes, and Stitcher. And now today’s blog –   I burned it as I whispered the words over and over and over . . .   I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.   The photo burned from left to right in perfect symmetry, blue and orange flames, erasing time,...

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