By Z Zoccolante
For the last couple sessions I’ve seen my Network practitioner, he keeps telling me,
Have more fun.
Fun fun fun.
And I noticed it felt good to hear that, as though someone was giving me permission to take a breath when I was lacking oxygen.
Lately, I’ve been doing a lot. America would be proud of me because our society tends to pride ourselves on things we do, what we achieve, goals, lists, accomplishments.
And while there’s a time and place for that, it’s very masculine energy, goal-directed, achievement. I’ve been in this state a lot of my life – doing things to be worthy, achieving things so that I could be good enough, being all things so people would like me, being a slave to my eating disorder and whatever it dictated of me.
I can do masculine because it’s been a sort of safe zone for me. But it doesn’t mean it makes me happy. Lately, I’ve noticed that all that being in control and on top of things is the last thing I desire.
So . . . enter fun.
This weekend I went on an adventure with a friend and it was splendid! There was nothing to do at set times or set places. We wandered. We saw various cool things: the ocean with fog like SF, serpentine roads. Ate yummy foods. Had laughter, and cool and silly conversations.
One of the times I’ve happiest is when like I feel childlike, playful, silly. A few people in my life have commented on this saying I’m childish as though it’s an insult.
But this part of me is one of my favorite things about myself – when I play in my childlike side – silly, free. Maybe it scares them? Maybe they don’t know what to do with it?
Kids are the bomb – the wonder in their eyes, adventure everywhere, an innocence, silliness and play, easy laughter, their willingness to learn new things.
Still, I’m also an adult, and if I need to shift I can. The childlike part is where the wonderment is at. That’s where a kid’s power lies.
On this adventure, I felt that sense of wonder as though the only world that existed was this moment in time. I saw a bazillion fascinating things that had me contemplate life. I took 2 photos of which I didn’t post because I preferred the moment. The other untaken pictures are etched in memory, where I can scroll through like a Rolodex and remember also how I felt in the moment of that little bubble.
One of the ways I feel most alive is when I feel like I’m in a bubble with someone and the only world that exists is the one we’re creating each moment by our adventure. I felt this constantly with my best friend in Hawaii – our little bubble world.
Such a cool feeling.
When you’re in it, it feels like magic.
I have been telling God I want adventure. When you ask sincerely, God has a way of providing things you seek. . .
When I go back to Network today, he tells me that when I’m childlike I’m connected to my power. And this feels true because when I was little I felt as though God was all around all the time. I felt in flow, in joy, in laughter, in adventure.
All these things are feminine. All these things are expansion. All these things feel delicious.
This is what adventure does for me.
Yes, I will have more fun, thank you. Fun. Fun. Fun. Fun.
So if you’re out there and have been feeling drained by all the doing that you’ve been doing, take a breath. Invite fun, invite adventure. Seek them out as though they’re life priorities, because they may be vitally important for your life’s joy.
Here’s to more fun, more adventures, and more silly playfulness. Yaaaaaaay. :)