How We Heal By Z Zoccolante This post is about an interesting realization I had about healing that I think is valuable for more than just me. Later this week you can listen to a new episode of my podcast Throwing Up Rainbows! Yippee. In this episode I wrap up the two interviews that I had with my mom and my dad about my eating disorder as a teen. As my teammate and I edited the interviews we listened to the parts...
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Do We Deserve Love? By Z Zoccolante In some strange little Saturday night vortex of my college life, I remember chillin’ alone in my dorm room, playing Bjork on repeat, and getting utterly lost in the lyrics: You’ll be given love You’ll be taken care of You’ll be given love You have to trust it (Björk – All is Full of Love (Official Music Video) It felt like I was locked in meditative trance,...
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The Few Men the Heart Loves By Z Zoccolante When I was little I used to think that people holding hands were in love and that they had everything in life figured out. I used to think there were happy endings and I believed in fairytales. Then I grew up, some shit happened, and I realized that things are much more intricate than they seem. Maybe there are just factual endings and we are the ones that create our happily...
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What if I Don’t Trust Myself? By Z Zoccolante The night before I checked into the eating disorder treatment hospital, I wrote in my journal, I don’t think I can get better . . . but I’m hoping I can prove myself wrong. I’m a smart girl, but up until that point I’d tried for years to stop binging and purging, to stop restricting what I ate, to stop hating my body in the mirror. But daily I failed. After...
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What if You Fell Into a Hole? By Z Zoccolante What if you fell into a hole and you couldn’t get out? Would you eat yourself? What part would you start with first? This weekend I was reminded of the bright, fuzzy poem above that my brother wrote in high school. This weekend I was at an EMDR seminar (eye movement desensitization reprocessing). In short, EMDR is a fantastic therapy tool to help the brain reprocess...
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