Posts by Z

The Reason I Want Fame

The reason I want fame is for its influence. When you’re famous you can post about your morning latte and people retweet it all day. People take notice. Underneath the fame lies something we all seek – significance.   I have dreams of getting Santa bags full of letters from recovered people. They tell of the freedom of their new life and the expansion of their minds. Of relationships that have been salvaged from the abyss, and...

Why It Took Me So Long To Recover.

I remember sitting on the black leather couch in my therapist’s office longing to be free from my eating disorder, when she said something to the tune of, “There is no recovered. You get there and then you keep going.”   I didn’t like that statement. I so desperately wanted to believe there was a finish line. If I went all the way I’d cross it, and the tape would rip and I could throw my arms up in victory and I’d be done, pau,...

The Opportunity of Candy: Hard Work Can Be Sweet After All.

I watched the two of them on the tile floor, surrounded by candy. He crawled on his hands and knees while she sat there drooling onto her birthday dress.   This might sound strange until I tell you that they’re both a year old. The colorful fishie piñata had just been broken and the candy littered the ground.   One of the moms said, “When they find out they can eat it, we’ll be in trouble.”   I laughed. Both of their...

Be Prepared to Shine

French microbiologist Louis Pasteur once said that, “Chance favors the prepared mind.” It goes to reason then that without preparation, the odds aren’t in our favor.   This lesson was apparent as I took a small vacay to San Diego. The last few times I traveled I’d over packed, so this time I removed items from my travel bag, congratulating myself for being such a light traveler.   As the first evening in San Diego rolled...

How to Rekindle Childhood Freedom as an Adult.

My mind is anxious and drumming, chastising me for an inability to be positive and free at the drop of a feather. I sleep through three alarms. In my dreams I’m on a great adventure in some mystical, magical, far away land. When I roll over to answer a phone call from a friend, my voice is raspy. It sounds like I’ve been cradled in lucid, cocoon-webbed sleep for weeks.   For the last few days I’ve been missing places from home....