Doubt is a Big Fat Liar By Z Zoccolante Do you remember who you were before the eating disorder? Do you remember your goals and dreams before life was defined by food, body image, or the word skinny? When you think about being free, does a voice whisper that it’s not possible? That voice is doubt and it’s a big, fat liar. They say that doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. Perhaps it’s because...
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Why I Didn’t Kill Myself. By Z Zoccolante Life can be a rollercoaster of a ride. It’s jam packed with beauty and chaos, with vertical drops inducing open mouthed laughter and the anticipation of forward locomotion. You scream and smile. But have you ever wished for death? It’s hard for me to fathom people who’ve never thought about it, even if for a fleeting instant. There are situations that make us contemplate...
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How Not to Accept a Compliment By Z Zoccolante The gray dress encases the length of my body, pressing against my arms, cutting off at the wrists. It looks as though someone’s taken a precise blade and carved delicate snowflake impressions into the material, removing the flakes, leaving empty space in lacey finger-lines. My fingers pull the stretchy fabric an inch down my thighs as I stomp my high black trendy combat boots up...
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How Smart People are Suckered Into Body Hatred By Z Zoccolante “As a woman you grow up with it,” a friend says, referring to the certain images of beauty plastered everywhere. “Eating disorders are an inherent possibility if you’re a woman.” Being a female is akin to having a sixth sense, a knowingness and awareness that there’s a whisper of “skinny” in the air. On a conscious level we may think that we’re not affected...
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What to Do With Too Much Body By Z Zoccolante As she sips her coffee back and tells me about training for the Ironman, a sentence slips out when referencing her shape. “Sometimes when I look at myself I think too much, too much body.” “What does that mean,” I ask. “More than what I envisioned myself being, especially in comparison to my past self.” She doesn’t have a negative body image and she says men compliment...
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How Connection Saves Us from Addiction by Z Zoccolante Humans suffer most when we lack connection. Take, for example, Tom Hanks with his volleyball, Wilson, in the movie “Cast Away.” I was distraught when he lost Wilson and cried as though my personal friend had drowned at sea. We will force connection with inanimate objects, if we must, because we’re hardwired to crave it, to need it. In our search for connection, addiction...
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