What You Truly Want For Christmas

What You Truly Want For Christmas
By Z Zoccolante
(Listen to the audio of this blog in the blue box below!)

Growing up, she told herself she was going to be the best actress in the world.

Fast forward. She’s at a Christmas drama production she wrote and directed for ESL students.
 

At the end of the short play, the students call the teachers up to the stage to thank them. There are rounds of applause.

Someone hands her a trophy. She holds it in her hands staring at the golden statue sparkling under the lights.

It’s a real Oscar. The nameplate bears the name of someone’s father who’s allowed his Oscar to be brought tonight, and temporarily bestowed upon her.

She remembers her dream from long ago and her heart overflows. For the next few minutes she will hold her very own Oscar.

True story. I met this woman last weekend. When writing this story to you, I noticed there was a crack in my heart when I fast forwarded her life and dropped her off as the drama teacher.

There was a fear, a sadness – “but she didn’t get her dream,” I thought.

But when I heard this story in real life, it felt different. When she introduced the Oscar moment, my eyes filled and I connected the dots. No part of her was sad about her old dream not coming true.

For a moment, as my eyes filled, I zoned out for a few sentences, but the words that whispered through my head were, “God gave her an Oscar.”

She took it as a job well done. That God was proud of her work with the children. That she was exactly where she was meant to be, and there was joy in her heart.

As I drove home that night, I couldn’t shake the Oscar from my head. I thought about the desires of our hearts and how life can create alternate paths along our journey.

Along the road, houses and stores shimmered in Holiday décor. I thought about how we celebrate Christmas by giving gifts. But what are the things we truly want?

Wants are strange things. In coaching, I’ve found that people often have no idea what they want.

• Jon might say he wants the big promotion at work, but what he really wants is the money so he can travel somewhere relaxing with his family. So what he wants is a family vacation.
• Suzie might say she wants an expensive engagement ring, but what she really wants is to feel pricelessly valued.
• Ben might say he wants the newest, trendy watch, but what he really wants is something that will give him the respect and admiration of his friends.

Often the things we say we want aren’t what we actually want. I think this was the case with the woman above, who wanted to be the best actress in the world.

The neat thing about God (or the universe, whatever you like to call it) is that it can see below the things we say we want into our heart’s desires, into the things that bring us real joy.

As we go into this Christmas season I’d like to invite you to take a personal inventory of your wants.

Take a Personal Want Inventory. Here’s how:

• Ask yourself, “Ok self, what do I want?”
• You say, “I want X.”
• Then you say, “Ok, if I get X then what do I get? Or what happens if I get X. How will I feel if I get X?”

*Keep going with this line of questions until you get to a root want, where you feel you’ve hit a stopping point. Usually this is a clearer barometer of your actual want.

Do Something SCARY: Tell, Trust, & Open Your Mind:

• Tell: Once you have your root want, put it out there in the world. Tell God and the universe about your want.
• Trust: Practice Trust. Experience has taught me that God knows best. Trust that you’ll be taken care of and that your heart’s desires will show up in your life.
• Open Your Mind: Like Bjork says, (and I’ll paraphrase) – You’ll be given love (or your heart’s desires). It may not be in the way you expect to receive it. It may come from strange places, or out of the blue. But it will come to you. It’s already all around you.

Forward Locomotion:

This Christmas give yourself the beautiful gift of identifying your true wants and trusting that they will flow into your life.

If you have particular group you belong to, this is fantastic exercise to do in-group. Or gather a few close friends over cookies and tea, and share your true heart’s desires.

And remember there are many ways to share closeness and appreciation this Christmas.
There are many gifts that don’t involve presents.

With Love,
Z :)