6 Ways To Be Happy When Others’ Succeed

Posted By on Jul 29, 2014 | 10 comments


Everyone is familiar with the question of the cup being half empty or half full. It’s designed to test our mindset and how we view the world.

The world is a place of:

A) ABUNDANCE   (Yay)
B) SCARCITY       (Oh no)

Half full or half empty? The answer to this question, determines our peace and joy.

Years ago, at a party, a new guest arrived at our circular table. As is customary we played the, ‘what do you do?’ game. She began to sincerely gush about how her book had become a best seller and all the press she was getting from it. I remember putting on a polite smile and pretending to be happy for her, but my heart felt like it was being punched with something dull and rusty.

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Once upon a time, my subconscious believed that the world was a pie. If someone took a piece of pie, than there was less pie for me. Therefore, each time someone succeeded, I truly wanted to be happy for them, but instead, my heart filled with rusty dread and anxiety because I thought there was, now, one less piece of pie (success) for me.

 

Somewhere along the way, I had developed the view that the glass was half empty. This vantage point caused me a lot of unnecessary hurt and frustration.

The truth is that the world is not a pie. The world is a bakery with amazing pastry chefs that bake around the clock. We can have anything we want as long as we believe, and act in accordance with that belief. The world has an abundance of pies! And they are delicious.

 

Even if you do believe in a world of abundance, we all have times, or certain people that trigger us. Without getting into any of the reasons why, here are six things I’ve discovered that help me to be happy for others’ success.

6 ways to feel great when others succeed:

 

1) Put yourself in their shoes.

What if person X was you? Wouldn’t you want to be loved and supported when you did something great in the world? Obviously yes. Then treat others the same way you would want them to treat you when you succeed.

 

2) Say something genuine.

Whether you communicate to person X or just think it to yourself, this is important because the energy that you put out is what returns to you. What is something that you sincerely and genuinely admire about them? Do they have an awesome work ethic, a great attitude, acting chops, a stellar voice, graceful dance, technique, a striking way with words, persistence? There is always at least one thing we can find.

 

3) Acknowledge what you don’t see.

We often have no idea the work, behind the scenes, that person X might have done to get the reward we are seeing from the outside. It’s like a seed. When the seed is planted it grows for weeks under the ground before spouting for the world to see, but it’s been growing that whole time. No one who is significant has gotten there without significant pains. It often takes years to become a success over night.

 

4) Remember your unique path.

I like to think of life as a dirt road through a forest. Each of us has a road that belongs solely to us. We may have parallel roads but we never have the same road. In our hands we have a key. It is our key that unlocks the doors along our path. Even if someone were to jump on our path they don’t have the key to unlock our doors, so it’s futile for them. We can breathe easy and know that it’s not a race because it’s our path. Therefore our timing is always right.

 

5) Give thanks.

Gratitude is vital to a happy, healthy heart. God has put many blessings in all of our lives. It’s up to us to remind ourselves of all the good things we have. There are so many little things we take for granted like hot water, food, clean water, safe homes, our beds, or our health. There is always something to be thankful for.

 

6) Picture and focus on your dream.

Comparison and jealousy cause us to focus externally on person X. It’s like digging pathways away from the main river, causing the water to divert in other directions. If we can take that energy and redirect it back into our lives, our river becomes powerful again. Get a picture in your mind of the success you want and focus on it in the same way you would when watching TV. Remember to keep your eyes on your own TV screen.

 

The world is abundant and full of delicious pies. And there’s a whole pie with your name on it.

 

With Love,
Z:)

 

 

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Thanks for reading. If you liked this post you might also enjoy:
An Unbeatable Combination for Success
Why is My Dream Taking So Long
The awesome part of “NO”
How to be Ok with your own life

10 Comments

  1. Avatar

    I love your new website! It’s so fitting of you and everything you stand for. All of your posts read like a fairytale that I get lost in and learn something new from. This one especially hits home and it’s an important reminder for me to keep my eye on the prize-not on what I don’t have yet, but all the riches I already have and am grateful for. Thank you for this!

    Post a Reply
    • Z Zoccolante

      Thanks Brandi! That is a huge compliment about my posts, one that I’d like to be known for. :) Yes, eye on the prize and gratefulness will provide not only joy but success. I’m excited for your new adventures and so glad this post can be a breadcrumb to hold that focus. :)

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  2. Avatar

    I love you Z! This is one of your best blog posts yet! Thanks for sharing your experience and thoughts, and thanks for the encouragement! Very inspiring! XOXO :)

    Post a Reply
    • Z

      Thank you! I appreciate all your isight and advice. Love you friend. xo

      Post a Reply
  3. Avatar

    This made my heart happy. Thank you for writing this article. Perfect timing :) I especially loved how direct and bright you articulated everything.

    Post a Reply
    • Z

      Thanks. Happy hearts are the best aren’t they. With Love, Z :)

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  4. Avatar

    Z,
    I love your blog, so true, we are all unique and have different gifts and talents and there is nothing better than encouraging others rather than focusing on “self”. I think when we do focus and help others we are getting better on our own journey. To me, it’s no fun trying to kick and scream, and climb all over each other to get to the top or to be negative and hoping others fail. It’s much better to be the one to encourage and to heIp others…so, if I didn’t get the part or the job I wanted, well, it wasn’t meant to be and that means something is better is too come. I know there is a pie with my name, just haven’t found it yet :)

    Post a Reply
    • Z

      Thank you so much. Yes. A Rachel pie. :) I like that you mentioned being the one to encourage others. I notice that it actually helps me to love people more when I do that and it’s so nice to receive encouragement as well. It’s a great skill to have and sometimes a learned one. I too remind myself that I don’t know the big picture and that even more awesomeness is awaiting. Thanks so much for sharing. Here’s to finding all our delicious pies. With Love, Z :)

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  5. Avatar

    I especially liked the “unique path” aspect. I actually pictured a nest of paths going in all directions with each one of us on our own path to our own destinations. It isn’t a race. It just is. I may be going faster in speed than the next but they may be going in a complete, different direction. Thank you for sharing and for ninja’ing my mind.

    Post a Reply
    • Z

      Thank you. The unique path is probably the one I use myself the most. It really does help me to have this image of my path as well. I like that you mentioned speed. I laughed because it was a good reminder to me not to get a big head when I look like I’m ahead of others’ as well. That’s a really good point. We all have completely different paths. :) With Love, Z ninja ;)

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