“I’m so disgusting how can you be friends with me.”

One of my best friends asked me that one afternoon in college. She was half joking, and we both laughed, but years later there are moments when those words haunt my thoughts.

This week I went to a friend’s house where a few of us had wine, mini cupcakes, and conversation. When I returned home, it was cold so I went to sleep in the same clothes removing only my shoes.

The next morning I drug myself out of bed for a casual meeting, brushed my hair and teeth, but didn’t bother to change. I did put on a different pair of shoes, for the sole reason of hiding my socks. They were Christmas red and I didn’t want any of the ladies from the night before (who might be at the meeting) to recognize them.

Only a slob wears the same outfit the following day, right?

When I was younger, I was told that I was a slob when I insisted on wearing my favorite items of clothing on a regular basis, which often meant a few days in a row. In high school, my dad once threated that he was going to burn my favorite pair of red terrycloth shorts that I’d practically made my summer uniform.

Recently I found an interesting article on “The Science Of Simplicity: Why Successful People Wear The Same Thing Every Day”

It states that we waste too much time concerning ourselves with life’s minor details such as the clothing we wear. This waste of time makes us less efficient at work. John Haltiwanger, the author, sites that President Obama, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerburg pretty much have the same wardrobe everyday. The point is to simplify so we can spend our energy on the important, big picture things of our lives.

I know that having the same kinds of clothing in your wardrobe is not the same as wearing the same clothes, but the article contains a truth that I’ve felt innately my whole life :

We spent far too much time on things that don’t matter (as much as we think they do.)

For example, if you knew that tonight at midnight you would be struck dead by a lightning bolt, I very much doubt that your last thoughts would be, “Oh, how I wish I’d cleaned the kitchen. Damn it, the carpet needs to be vacuumed. There’s still clothes in the dryeeeer!” (Painful gasp at this realization before untimely death).

I’m also aware that we cannot treat each day as if we were dying, because then we’d never move forward with our lives, or have clean houses. However, there’s a vital point being made.

When we are in the midst of working efficiently, certain things drop lower on the priority scale.

I’ve found that when goals are important, people will do what needs to be done to achieve them. Lately, I’ve found myself letting housework slide or forgoing exercise. I find myself wearing pajamas all day because I write alone in my house, like a hermit. Sometimes, when I’m washing my hands, I glimpse dirty hair in the mirror, or clothes that I wore yesterday, and I think, “I’m so disgusting how can anyone be friends with me?”

The truth is, as my husband reminds me, I do clean up nice. I can look like a polished person when it matters, when I need to, or even when I feel like it.

But the higher truth is that I have my priorities this season.

It’s a season of work, of efficiency, and of learning the delicate balance of seeing the big picture of life, while still attending to its daily needs.

The truth is that every season has its priorities. If we try to do everything, we are doomed to failure or exhaustion. As my dad likes to remind me, “Don’t burn the candle at both ends.”

What’s your priority?

What’s most important to you this season? Is there anything you can let slide, even a little, to make space and focus for your main priority?

With Love,

Z :)