Z’s Wonderland


The Connection Lost with Addiction By Z Zoccolante   As humans, we are designed for connection. We seek it out. Alone and isolated we usually don’t do well. If we can’t find connection in relationships with other humans we seek it elsewhere – pets, inanimate objects to fill our homes. And always addictions.   Our favorite addictions don’t magically appear in a vacuum. There are reasons the addictions exists. Usually,...

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The Importance of Shifting Your Emotions By Z Zoccolante   When I was a kid we learned about particles in school. We were taught that when we get down to the matter our desk is nothing but vibrating molecules buzzing in space. We just happen to see it as a concrete shape that we can feel and touch, and our hand doesn’t go right through.   If everything is vibration shaking through space like a Tahitian dance party, then we...

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How We Heal By Z Zoccolante   This post is about an interesting realization I had about healing that I think is valuable for more than just me.   Later this week you can listen to a new episode of my podcast Throwing Up Rainbows! Yippee. In this episode I wrap up the two interviews that I had with my mom and my dad about my eating disorder as a teen.   As my teammate and I edited the interviews we listened to the parts...

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Do We Deserve Love? By Z Zoccolante   In some strange little Saturday night vortex of my college life, I remember chillin’ alone in my dorm room, playing Bjork on repeat, and getting utterly lost in the lyrics:   You’ll be given love You’ll be taken care of You’ll be given love You have to trust it (Björk – All is Full of Love (Official Music Video)   It felt like I was locked in meditative trance,...

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The Few Men the Heart Loves By Z Zoccolante   When I was little I used to think that people holding hands were in love and that they had everything in life figured out. I used to think there were happy endings and I believed in fairytales. Then I grew up, some shit happened, and I realized that things are much more intricate than they seem.   Maybe there are just factual endings and we are the ones that create our happily...

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What if I Don’t Trust Myself? By Z Zoccolante   The night before I checked into the eating disorder treatment hospital, I wrote in my journal,   I don’t think I can get better . . . but I’m hoping I can prove myself wrong.   I’m a smart girl, but up until that point I’d tried for years to stop binging and purging, to stop restricting what I ate, to stop hating my body in the mirror. But daily I failed.   After...

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