You Are the Constant! Inspiration for your Journey
By Z Zoccolante

I remember the exact moment I typed the last word. I sat back in the chair as tears skimmed my eyes. The noise of the food court shuffled into consciousness. The thought scratched like a broken record, I finished it!

*

Around me at the mall’s food court in Hawaii, the low hum of people’s conversations formed a sea of airy foam. The florescent lights shone above. Real light glowed outside the glass windows. Shoppers walked by with bags dangling at their legs. They lifted them while entering the escalator’s black-toothed steps.

I’d accomplished the largest feat of my life thus far and I was alone to witness it. I glanced around the extended room. No one knew what I’d completed in my silence. For a moment, I felt the sadness of having an important moment without a witness. Then I remembered that I’m the constant, and God sees everything all the time.

I took a mental photo, something I’d seen in a movie when I was a kid. The person would blink and thus save the moment in their invisible database. Finishing my memoir didn’t just mark the completion of writing a book. The ending signified that I was a different person entirely. You see, I’d promised myself that I wouldn’t write the book until I was free. The final page, the last sentence, the ending word, the period, they all ended the culmination of over a decade of disorder and disease.

One of my best friends in the manuscript told me, “Sometimes you have to go through the hate to get to the love.”

Sometimes the hate can feel like it’s never going to leave. But there I was sitting on the other side, having gone through the torrent, now looking back with distance and a smile.

Zig Ziglar said that, “Radical change happens in minute steps.” Every forward step I took in the darkness brought me closer to the light.

Radical change happens in minute steps.

In my blogs today, I use the phrase Forward Locomotion. To me it symbolizes constant movement forward towards a goal or dream. Even if it feels as though you’re crawling at a snails pace. Even when there’s side roads and backtracks and stumbling blocks. At the end of the day, you still look to the horizon and keep moving in the direction of your goal. In Forward Locomotion, every millimeter counts.

Despite the bodies that crowded in the mall, I sat at my table unnoticed. I resisted the urge to call someone and immediately share. This was my journey and I was the constant. I took a slow breath and said thank you, for all the years of struggle, for all I’d learned, and for exponential growth. I’d completed the mission I set out to do when I was 20 years old, when I was in the dark with my disorder and a voice told me I’d write about this.

I’d felt indebted to that voice for years, knowing I couldn’t die until it was done. Now that it was done, I was excited to live.

After a few moments I called my husband and then my best friend, because we don’t live in a vacuum and connection is vital. It’s important to have your supports to cheer you on, to tell you how badass and amazing you are. Maybe they tell you that they’re proud of your dedication and your persistent locomotion.

That moment at AlaMoana Mall seemed like an ending, but on the next page was the next chapter. The memoir took me months longer to edit, and then longer . . .

I realized that things don’t really end, they just transform from one thing to the next, from one page to another. Since nothing’s ever created or destroyed, it’s an ongoing process.

That’s why it’s important to take a breath, connect to ourselves, and remember that we are the constant. If we don’t celebrate each little win, life will continue to railroad by.

Take time to celebrate your wins!

I think I bought a mochi and went to the beach across the street to lie in the sun. For a while, only 4 people knew I’d completed my manuscript. It reminded me of the pencil markers my parents drew up the wall, in gray chalky steps, to signify our height – Silent celebrations of growth.

Forward Locomotion:

Remember: You are the constant!

Celebrate each accomplishment, no matter how small! They’re the gray chalky steps of your growth and success.

“Work hard in silence, let your success be your noise.”

― Frank Ocean

With Love,
Z :)